Crossing the Line
by HuddyJoy0524
Summary: It's been 2 weeks since the death of Claire and Gillian is still coping.  Can Cal admit his feelings for her? Post "Killer App." A one shot in 2 parts.
1. Chapter 1

Crossing the Line

_Hey all! So this is my first Callian fic, and it's my take on the events after "Killer App" and Cal finally admitting his love to Gillian. It's going to be a bit longer…I'm going to break it into 2 parts. It's more of a focus on Gillian. I haven't written in awhile and I may be rusty but I hope that you enjoy it all the same! _

"Hey Gillian!" Emily popped her head into Gillian's office and popped back out again.

"Wait! Wait! Em!" Gillian called to the girl.

Emily stuck her head back in the doorway. "Yeah?" She walked inside and stood in the doorway.

"What are you doing here, don't you have school?" She asked her.

"Yeah. But I don't have to leave for another twenty minutes or so. I left some homework in Dad's office yesterday afternoon and came by to pick it up." She sat down in a chair opposite Gillian and put her hands on her face, resting her elbows on the table. "What are you doing here so early?"

"Oh you know me, I'm the early bird," Gillian smiled. "I'm always the first one in the office. I'd rather be here early and leave early."

"Yeah except Dad keeps you here late anyway," Emily said.

Gillian sighed. "Yeah."

Emily lifted her head up. "Dad told me everything about what happened the other week. Are you ok?" The girl looked at Gillian with such concern, and Gillian felt her heart swell with love for Cal's daughter.

"I'm doing ok," Gillian nodded a bit. "Coping I guess." She unconsciously brought her hand to Claire's necklace, which she wore around her neck all the time now.

"Listen I…" Emily stopped and looked down at her hands. "I was actually wondering if I could get some advice about something. I was afraid to ask because I know you've been so busy…"

"No, no Emily. Please. If you need someone to talk to I'm always here." Gillian reached across her desk and put her hand over Emily's.

Emily smiled at her. "Well, I have these two friends that are having some trouble. I tried helping them but I don't know what else to do." She looked back up at Gillian.

"What's wrong? Is it drugs? Drinking?" Gillian looked concerned.

"No, no nothing like that," Emily laughed a little bit. "It's…relationship trouble."

"Ohhhhh" Gillian smiled again.

"Yeah." Emily looked down into her lap again. "It's actually about two of my friends. They really like each other. A lot. And…he told me about his feelings for her. He said that he loved her. But…he's afraid to tell her. I tried talking to her about it to see how she felt and she won't talk about it. She's ignoring her feelings. But I think she likes him too." She snuck a peak up at Gillian who was looking intently at Emily. "What should I say to them?"

Gillian sighed. "Well that's a really tough situation, Emily. That might be one of those things they have to figure out on their own, you know? Sometimes…friends they…don't want to risk a relationship. It can end bad."

"But I don't think it would!" Emily exclaimed. "They're both miserable without each other. And it shows."

Gillian reached across the table and took Emily's hands in hers. "All I can suggest for you is to try and be there for them. Help them through it, maybe even do a little poking and prodding." Gillian smiled.

Emily gave a little smile in return. "Yeah. I guess that's all that I can do. Thanks, Gillian. For talking to me."

"Anytime." Gillian stood up and walked around, giving the girl a big hug.

"What's this the Breakfast Club?" Gill and Emily looked over at Cal who was leaning in the doorway of Gillian's office with his hands crossed over his chest.

"Dad!" Emily walked over to him. "I was just asking Gillian for some advice about something."

Cal looked down at his daughter's face, searching. Ever since he had told her that he was in love with Gillian a part of him was paranoid that she would spill the beans. "Relax Dad. It was girl stuff. Unless of course you would like to know about…"

"Ok! Ok I get it. Don't want to know." Cal put his hands up and both Gillian and Emily laughed. Cal gave his daughter a kiss on the forehead. "Now get off to school you little bugger."

She gave him a quick hug. "Bye Gillian!" She literally skipped out of the doorway and down the hall.

"What's she so happy about?" Cal questioned.

Gillian shrugged. "Beats me," she said mysteriously.

"Now don't tell me you went off and gave her some dopy advice about kissing a boy or something," Cal walked over to Gillian who was still grinning.

Gillian's phone beeped and she walked over and pushed the button. "Yeah."

"A case just came in" Ria's voice said over the speaker. "Get Lightman and meet us in the conference room."

"Yup." She walked back over to Cal. "Got to go."

"Ohhh no. I don't think so." Cal stopped in front of her. "What were you and Em saying?"

"I really have no idea what you are talking about" she said flirtily. She walked out of the office and Cal watched her as she walked out. He followed her a second later. The two of them strolled over the conference room where Ria and Eli were already waiting.

"Here we are" Ria handed a file to Cal and Gillian and sat down next to them in the conference room. "This guy is wanted for drug dealing. Someone in his gang was just killed and they suspect him of it but they can't be sure. He's apparently a pathological liar."

"Big shock there," Cal muttered, loud enough so that they could all hear him.

"They want to know if we can question the guy" Eli finished. "I'm not sure whether or not we should bring him here though. I mean we have the cube…"

"Well we would just have to bring the cops in I guess," Cal suggested lightly. "What do you think?" He turned to Gillian.

She shrugged. "That's fine with me."

"Alrighty then! I'll go call 'em." He raised his eyebrows suggestively and enthusiastically walked out of the room.

Gillian opened the file and looked down at it, while fingering her necklace again.

"You really think it's safe to bring a drug dealer here?" Ria looked at Eli and Gillian, worry all over her face.

"We'll be fine if the police are here" Gillian assured her.

Eli snuck a glance over at Gillian, studying her. Ria, noticing Eli's glances, looked over at him. Recognition shot into her face and she too looked over at Gillian who was ignoring them, looking intently at the file.

"He wouldn't…" Eli started and Ria shushed him.

"Huh?" Gillian looked up at them.

"Nothing," Ria said and she tapped Eli's arm as they walked out of the room. She shut the door behind her and whirled on Eli. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"If it starts with Wall and ends in –owski then yeah" Eli said. They both looked inside at Gillian again.

"She hates her" Ria whispered. "Would Cal really…"

"Oh, Cal would really. Did you see him in there? He WANTED us to bring the cops in on this. He wants her back here."

"Well maybe we could conveniently be out…" Ria started.

"Ohhhh no. I wouldn't miss this for the world" Eli interrupted.

"Miss what?" Cal appeared out of nowhere.

"Ummm…just those sandwiches that are waiting for us in the cafeteria!" Eli said.

"Uh huh. Right. You two. Go research this guy." He threw the file at them and they walked off down the hall to the lab.

***LTM***

Gillian sighed as she poured her coffee and took a sip. She looked up as Eli and Ria walked into the cafeteria. "The…uhhh…cops are here." Eli said.

"Good!" Gillian started and then she stopped. The two of them were acting funny. "What? Is something wrong?"

"Nope! No." Ria jumped in. "Just uhh….they're securing the place and uhhh….they're waiting for you in the conference room."

Gillian made a face. She knew they were hiding something. "Ok you two what is it. What's going on?"

"I uhhh…think I would personally prefer not to get into the line of fire on this one." Eli said, and pinched his lips together. He walked out of the room and Ria turned around shooting him a look. He raised his arms up and pointed to Gillian through the glass as he walked away.

Ria turned back around and looked at Gillian. "Not just the cops are here."

Gillian looked at her, waiting for more.

"Well the cops said they wanted us to call a umm…detective too. So umm Cal called…"

Ria didn't have to finish. Gillian's face drained of color. She put the coffee cup down on the table, hard, and burst out of the cafeteria. Ria winced and shrunk back and decided to wait it out in the cafeteria for a few minutes before she went to find Eli and kill him.

Gillian stormed down the hallway and tore open the door to the conference room. Cal was sitting next to Wallowski in front of an open file.

"What the hell is this?" Gillian angrily demanded. Cal and Wallowski both looked up, surprised, and saw Gillian standing in the doorway with her hands folded across her chest. Her face was beet red.

"Nice to see you too Foster," Wallowski muttered.

"I'm waiting for an answer" she said and shot a glare over at Cal. Cal sighed and got up, taking Gillian's arm and took her outside.

"Really Cal? Really? Do we NEED her here?" Gillian was livid.

"You know you should really chill out, Foster. She's here to help with the case."

"When I gave you permission to call the cops I meant the cops not her, Cal!"

"Oh you gave me 'permission?'" Cal asked, dangerously. "Last I checked, I was the one in charge here. I give the orders and what I say goes. I say she stays here."

Gillian took a deep breath. "You asked my opinion. I only okayed it because I didn't think we needed her. I don't. want. Her. Here."

"You know what? I don't know what your problem with her is Foster but you need to cut it out. You…"

"You know what my problem is? You want to know what my problem is? She almost brought this entire company down, Cal! And you with her!" She gestured over at the glass where Wallowski was sitting inside, pretending like she couldn't hear every word they were saying.

"Something tells me it's a little bit more than that," he leaned in closer to her and she shoved him off with her hands, a little rougher than normal.

"It's what I said," she stated, her face stoic. "Now are you going to send her away or not?"

Cal stood there for a second. "No."

"Fine." Gillian walked back over the conference doors. "But if you EVER bring her in for another case in again I'm not having any part of it."

"You don't NEED to be a part of it now," Cal shot back.

Gillian made a face that Cal, as usual, was unable to decode, and followed her back inside. She took a seat opposite of Wallowski and crossed her arms, sitting back in the chair.

"Continue." Cal said. He sat back, lazily, in the chair and put his arm across the back of Wallowski's chair and shot Gillian a look. She rolled her eyes and looked away, still angry.

"Well ummm…" Wallowski cleared her throat and shot Gillian a nervous glance. "I was just talking to Cal about how the man in the case, Arthur Smith or "K" as they call him on the street, is a pathological liar. He is also really good at manipulation which means that he can turn basically anything someone says to someone else. Make it look like someone else's fault. So not only will you guys need to watch his face but also the way he moves his body."

"Like we didn't know that," Gillian said nastily.

Cal shot her a glare and Wallowski looked up at Gillian briefly before turning back to the file. "Because the D.A. told me that he has these nervous ticks and we might be able to figure out whether they give us into any clue of what he is thinking or feeling."

"Gotcha. Alright, well here is what we will do. Wallowski, you and I can go in and interrogate him and Foster you can stay on the outside and observe with Ria and Eli."

Gillian said nothing.

` "Well I'm going to take your silence as a confirmation." Cal said.

Eli poked his head into the conference room. "We've got a situation, Cal. They need you in the room."

Cal sighed and got up. He pointed a finger at Gillian. "Behave." He followed Eli out and shut the door behind him. He left behind tension so thick that a hacksaw would be needed to cut through it.

Wallowski looked over at Gillian who was starting out the glass window, purposefully ignoring her. "Look…" Wallowski started. "I know you don't like me. But…we are going to need to work together. Soo…"

Gillian looked over at Wallowski. "Fine." She turned back and stared at the glass window again.

"You could at lease pretend not to hate my guts," she repeated, a little annoyed.

"Now why should I do that?" Gillian asked her.

"I think I deserve that," Wallowski reiterated.

"You almost brought this company to its knees. I owe you nothing."

"You know…I'm starting to think that's not the only reason, Dr. Foster." Wallowski said pointedly.

"Oh. Really? Well what do you think it is then?" Gillian asked, uncrossing her arms.

"I think you have a thing for Lightman. You're jealous."

"Excuse me?" Gillian's voice dropped low and she put her hands on the desk. "I don't know who you think you are…"

Wallowski pushed her chair back and stood up. "I don't believe this. Ever since I've gotten here you treat me like crap. I don't have to take it."

"Fine. Then don't take it. Leave."

"You know…I don't know what the hell Cal sees in you," Wallowski said, nastily.

Gillian stood up and walked over to the woman. "Well I don't know what he sees in you either!"

"There it is! The jealousy! It's all over your face!" Wallowski yelled.

"Get your finger out of my face!" Gillian yelled back.

"No! You need someone to tell you the truth once and for all! You need to come to terms with the truth!"

"Get. Your. Finger. Out. Of. MY FACE!" Gillian yelled.

"You know what? Fine. FINE! You win! You can have him! I don't want him if you're going to make this big a deal out of it!" Wallowski chucked the file on the desk. "I don't want to be a part of it!"

"Yes you do! You do everything you can to weedle your way in here!

"I do not!"

"Hey! HEY!" Cal ran into the conference room. "What the bloody hell is going on!" He stopped to see Wallowski and Gillian were standing a few inches apart and yelling in each other's faces.

"I've had it! I've had it! I don't want to be a part of this case anymore!" Wallowski yelled at Cal and walked out of the conference room.

He followed her out. "Hey! Stop! Wallowski!"

"Look, Cal." She stopped and whirled back around to face him. "I don't know what the hell is going on between you and Gillian but I think it's better if for now if I give you two some space to figure it out."

"There's nothing going on!" Cal yelled.

"Sure. Right. You mean to tell me there's not? She's got serious issues with me, Cal. And you…" She shook her head. "I'm done. I'm just…done." She turned around and walked out of the building.

Cal turned around and stalked back down the hallway. Gillian had walked out of the conference room and was watching them. "Who the bloody HELL do you think you are?" He yelled at her.

"I'm your partner Cal!" Gillian exclaimed. "Your partner! Not some…woman you can walk all over!"

"What?" Cal shook his head. "I don't walk all over you! What do you…you're making no sense. What is your problem? You just blew our case!"

"We don't need her Cal. You don't need her."

"Oh. Oh and now you know what's best for me?" Cal yelled back. "You don't. You don't know what's best for me. That's not your job. You're not my mother!"

"But I'm your friend! Doesn't my opinion count a little bit more?"

Cal took a deep breath and ran his hands through his air. "I can't believe it. I left you two alone for two minutes and have to run back in to break up a cat fight. I expected more from you Foster."

"Oh so now this is my fault? MY FAULT? I don't believe this." Gillian turned around and walked away.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"What do you care?" She shot back behind her shoulder.

***LTM***

Cal had fallen asleep on the couch in his office again. He didn't hear Ria come into his office. She kicked his leg to wake him up. He jerked awake and uncrossed his arms. He rubbed his eyes. "Ugh. What time is it?"

"9:30." Ria sat down next to Lightman. "Are you ok?"

"Yes I'm ok why?" Cal asked.

"I uhhhh…heard you and Foster fighting this afternoon." Ria said. She looked down at her hands. "You guys sounded pretty upset."

"Yeah well that's none of your bloody business." Cal stood up quickly and walked back over to his desk.

"Lightman…" Ria got up and followed him over to his desk.

"Yes?" He looked up at her dismissively.

"You are so enfuriating you know that? I don't know how Foster puts up with you," she shook her head.

"Yeah well I don't know either," Cal said and he sat down at his desk.

Ria turned to walk out and nearly ran into Eli. "I have a Megan Fowles on the line for you," Eli said.

Cal frowned. "Megan as in….give me the phone!" He said urgently. Eli handed it to him quickly and then stood back.

"Hello? Hello?" Cal said into the phone. "Megan?"

"Dr. Lightman? Hi. You told me to ever call you if something was wrong?"

"What is it?"

"Well I came home two hours ago and all the lights were on in Gillian's house. I thought that was odd considering she is normally still at the office. I checked again a little later and I noticed that things are out of place."

"What do you mean?"

"Chairs are turned over, couch cushions are pulled off, it looks like someone ransacked the house. But I didn't see anyone come in or out! Should I call the police?"

"No!" Cal's voice was constricted. Eli and Ria shared a scared glance. "I'll be right over." He hung up the phone quickly and threw it on his desk.

"What is it?" Eli asked.

"It's Foster. She's in trouble."

_So there is part one of the story. I hope you all liked it! Chapter 2 is up! _


	2. Chapter 2

Crossing the Line Part 2

_I hope you guys enjoyed part 1! Here is part 2! _

Cal pulled up in the back of Gillian's house and turned the car lights off. His heart was beating fast. He hadn't felt this terrified since the night that Claire was killed. He killed the lights and grabbed a baseball bat out of the backseat of the car. He closed the car door gently behind him and walked up slowly to the back door of her house. He put his ear to the door and when heard nothing, he reached underneath the doormat and grabbed the spare key. He opened the door slowly and walked in.

He observed slowly as he walked through with the bat up. Nothing appeared to be stolen and all of the larger pieces of furniture were still standing. The smaller pieces were the ones that were turned over. Frowning in confusion, he stopped. Suddenly he heard a noise. Gillian's sobs.

"Gillian!" He called out. The sobs stopped. "Cal!" He heard her voice, confused.

"Gil! Where are you?" He called back, urgently.

"In the living room!"

He ran into the room and saw her sitting in the middle of the floor. He dropped the bat and ran over to her and kneeled in front of her. "Darlin' what happened? Were you robbed?"

"No. No," Gillian said. "It's…Claire's necklace. I've lost it! I can't find it anywhere!"

Cal sighed deeply in relief and pulled her to him. "Gillian…I..Megan called and I thought something happened I…" He stopped and held her to him tightly almost for his reassurance more than hers.

She pulled away and looked up at him. "Why did Megan call you?"

"I told her…after you split up with Alec I had her watch you."

Gillian made a face. "Like spying on me?"

"No! No…just to check and make sure you were ok. If something ever happened I told her to call me."

Gillian sat back and put her head in her hands. "I left the office for lunch and then I came back here and then I went back to the office and then when I got back home…I couldn't find it. Cal, its lost. The only thing I have of her is gone," she took a deep shuddering breath and more tears fell from her eyes. "What am I going to do?" She looked up at him, sadly.

"Well did you search the entire office?" He suggested.

She nodded. "Yeah, the office…here…" She stood up. "I've got to find it Cal. I've got to find it. I'm going to forget her." She stood up.

Cal stood up and grabbed her arm. "Gil. Gil look at me." He turned her around to face him. "Whatever happened, you are not going to forget her ok?"

"Yes I will!" She wrenched herself free from his grasp and turned around to grab her jacket. "I'm going back out to look for it."

"It's ten o clock at night, love. You should wait."

"No, no." Gillian shook her head. Cal jumped up and blocked her doorway. "I'm not letting you go back out there. You're too upset. You just turned your house upside down."

"Get out of my way, Cal!" she said.

He crossed his arms. She tried walking around him and he shifted his weight. "Cal let me go!" She yelled and started to cry again. "LET ME BY!"

She raised her arms up to shove him but he was prepared. He grabbed her and held her in a bear hug. "LET ME GO!" She yelled. She tried pushing him, kicking him, but he was ready. He held on.

She was sobbing at this point. "Cal!" She gave up then and just weeped, hopelessly, into his chest.

"I'm sorry love. I'm so sorry." He held her while she cried. "Ssshhhhh. It's ok. It's ok, love. It's ok." He let her cry, for what felt like three hours before her tears started to subside. She had stopped crying but remained in his arms, her head in the crook of his neck.

"Your shirt is soaking wet" she said after a couple minutes of silence.

"What's a little water" he shrugged and she laughed a little bit and stepped back.

"You want some water?" He asked her and she nodded. He ran his finger gently across her cheek and walked over to the cabinet, grabbing a glass.

"I'm…sorry Cal." She said.

"For what?" He asked her, as he turned on the faucet and filled the glass with water.

"For the way I acted today," she hung her head as he came back over and handed her the water. "I was…really nasty." She looked up at him, pleading for forgiveness.

"It's alright," Cal gently rubbed her shoulder. "I should have asked you. If you don't like Wallowski…I should put you first. You are my partner." He smiled a little bit.

She took a sip of water.

"You know…I actually thought that something happened to you," he said.

She looked into his eyes. "I'm ok."

"Well I was frantic. I came in here with a baseball bat looking for bloody burglars."

Gillian smiled. "You were gonna fight them off for me?" She had assumed her regular flirty attitude.

Cal only nodded. Gillian set her glass down. "Cal…what am I going to do? Claire's death….I don't think I'm coping well."

"Maybe you should join a group," he suggested.

"Ha. The psychologist getting mental help" she said sarcastically.

"Look, Gillian. That girl was like a daughter to you. You know…I was almost worried that you weren't grieving enough. I haven't seen you upset about it in weeks."

"That's because I had her with me," Gillian's hand reached up to find the necklace on her neck that wasn't there. Her face filled with pain again and she looked back down at her bare neck. If she hadn't looked down, she would have seen Cal's own pained expression as his heart broke for her. Her sorrow.

"We'll look for it again tomorrow at the office alright?" Cal reassured her. She nodded again. "We will find it, Gillian. We'll find it."

Gillian looked back up at Cal and all of a sudden threw her arms around his neck. Cal held her tight. "You're the best friend I've ever had" she choked out.

Cal merely closed his eyes, briefly, and breathed in the scent of her hair so that his own emotion wouldn't take over him. She thought of him as a friend. Of course.

Gillian let go and stood back. "I'll uhh…be ok. You can go home now. Emily is probably wondering where you are."

"You sure?" Cal asked her.

"Yeah," she said.

Cal turned around to go. But something stopped him. He turned back around with his hand on the doorknob and looked over at Gillian. She had that face again. The one that he couldn't read…what was it?

Cal stopped. "Would you feel better if I stayed with you until you fall asleep?"

Gillian took a deep breath and bit her lip. A tear dropped from her eye. "Yeah."

"Ok then darling." He put his arm around her and walked with her up the stairs.

***LTM***

Cal walked in the doorway and shut it slowly, quietly behind him.

"Dad? Is that you?" Emily called. He sighed and slumped against the door. "Yup!"

Emily came down the steps. "Its 12:30's Dad. No call. Where were you?" She put her hands on her hips.

"Stop looking like your mother," he said and dropped his coat and wallet on the kitchen island.

"Well?" He just looked up at her and went to open the fridge.

"You were at her house weren't you?" Emily sat down at the island. Cal shut the fridge door. "Yes, I was. She was…having a rough time."

"Ria told me that you guys got into a huge fight today," Emily said.

"Oh she did, did she? Well I'm gonna tell her…"

"Dad, you're going to deflect. Stop it. Did anything happen when you were over there?"

"No! No…Em…" Cal stopped and put his palms down on the surface of the table. He didn't know how to continue.

"Dad why are you torturing yourself?" Emily asked. She got up and walked over to him. "You need to tell her."

"Em this is more complicated than that."

No, it's not. And you know it. All you have to do is say it. It's not as complicated as you are making it. What's more painful? Telling her? Or never knowing?" He looked up at his daughter, fully accepting how wise she was for the first time.

"Good night Dad." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked back up the stairs.

***LTM***

Cal had been avoiding her office all day. He gave her the entire morning to search the office for the necklace and he did some searching on his own but neither found anything. The rest of the afternoon he tiptoed around. Ria and Eli, noticing the strange tension, said nothing and merely tried to avoid the pair of them. When it got to be dinnertime Cal couldn't ignore her anymore. He walked into her office. She was sitting at her desk, writing.

"Whatcha doing?" He asked her, leaning against the doorframe.

"Just some stuff for the case." She closed the file and looked back up at him. There were dark circles under her eyes and she looked like she had been crying more.

"Gil…" He walked towards her, concerned.

"I still can't find the necklace," she said sadly and walked over to him. "I feel like a failure."

"Hey." He lifted her chin with his hand. "I don't ever want to hear you say that. You were the best thing that girl ever had. Without you…"

"She would still be alive." Gillian walked over and sat down on the couch.

"Guilt is not becoming on you" he said as he sat down next to her. She said nothing. They sat in silence for a few moments. "Cal…" she started.

Cal interrupted her. "Gillian…I think we need to talk."

She looked confused. "About what?"

Cal sighed. "The line. We need to talk about the line."

Gillian frowned and then recognition crossed her face. Suddenly, she felt her heart start beating faster and her breath got more shallow.

"I'm afraid I've….crossed the line darling," he looked down at his hands. He didn't even want to look at her. He was too afraid to.

"As in…you…" Gillian spluttered. Cal looked up at her and she seemed to be in shock.

"I know this is a bad time to tell you. But everytime is a bad time to tell your best friend that you…that you…I need to be honest with you." He finished.

Gillian could feel it coming again. The tears. She closed her eyes in an attempt to stop them. "How…how long?" She asked him quietly.

There was a long pause. "I don't know," he responded. "I don't…know."

Gillian took a deep breath. "I need to…I need to…I'm sorry" she stood up suddenly grabbed her purse and walked out of the room.

She passed Eli in the hallway who, seeing her distressed, looked into her office and noticed Cal sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He backed up slowly and retreated to the lab. He pulled his phone out.

_To: Emily Lightman_

_Sent: Fri, March 25__th__, 5:05pm_

_I think your Dad finally spilled the beans Em…it doesn't look good._

_CB: 443-970-2398_

***LTM***

Gillian barely made it out of the office before she had dissolved into tears. She couldn't see three feet in front of her and fumbled to get her keys out of her purse as she walked over to her car. She put the key into the door, unlocked it, and got into her car. She closed it behind her and started sobbing, resting her head on her hands on the wheel.

"Dr. Foster? Why are you crying?" Gillian put her head up and turned to see Claire sitting in the passenger seat of her car.

"Claire?" She questioned. She reached over and put her hand on the girls shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

"I came here to help you" the girl said, gently.

"Well you don't want to help me, I let you die." Gillian turned away.

"Look at me," she reached over and put her hand on Gillian's face. "No you didn't. The last thing I saw before I died was you, Gillian. You were trying so hard to save me..you were so afraid for me…I thought there was no one in the world that cared for me. I was wrong. You did." Gillian looked at the girl, miserably.

"You were the only true friend I ever had. If it hadn't been for you…I wouldn't have made it past fourteen years old. You saved me. You have to stop beating yourself up. I guess it was just…meant to be."

"I lost your necklace, Claire. I lost it." Gillian choked out.

"It's ok! You still have your memories of me. In here." She put a finger on Gillian's chest. "As long as you still care, I will always be there."

Gillian smiled and sniffled. "I must be going crazy or something. What are you a…a ghost? An apparition?"

"No, actually. I'm a projection of your subconscious." Claire crossed her arms. "Your conscious mind is feeling a little bit…overwhelmed right now. I'm here to help you sort things out."

"Gee, thanks." Gillian laughed a little bit. "So I'm not going crazy?"

"Nahh" Claire smiled. "So now onto the next order of business…Cal."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh…bad idea" Claire stated. "The man just admitted he was in love with you. You've got some things to figure out."

"He didn't actually say it, Claire. He…"

"He might as well have," Claire answered. "Now the question is…why did you run?"

"I…I didn't know what to say. I don't know how I feel!" Gillian exclaimed. "Why did he tell me this now?"

"Maybe he didn't know what else to say or do." Claire said. "I think he's felt this way for a long time, Gillian."

"If you're my subconscious then how do you know all of this?"

"Don't ask me!" You're the psychologist." Claire said matter o factly. "Don't you deal with this kind of stuff all the time?"

"Not when it's me…" Gillian responded quietly. "I feel like I've been going to pieces lately. I screamed at Wallowski yesterday you know."

"Oh I know," Claire nodded. "You hate her. Why do you hate her?"

"Because she nearly destroyed the Lightman Group!"

"You keep saying that…" Claire said. "But I think it's more than that Gillian. It's more than that…isn't it?"

Gillian's lip quivered again as she looked over at the girl. "The way he looks at her…." She started and took another deep breath. She looked down into her lap.

"Aahhh. So you ARE jealous. You don't like it when he spends time with her. You want him to look at you that way."

Gillian looked back over at Claire. "Is that terrible?"

"No! No." Claire put her hand over Gillian's. "But he does…he DOES look at you that way."

"He does?" Gillian looked up at her, hopefully.

"Yeah! You just…don't notice it all the time."

"Do you think he…do you think he loved me when I was with Burns?"

Claire sat back. "Yeah. Yeah I think he did."

Gillian nodded and looked out the window. "And he was…he tried so hard to be nice to him. He saved his life. And when he was dating Wallowski I wasn't very nice, was I?"

"Yeah you could have been better." Claire laughed a little bit.

"Claire…all I know is that it feels right to be with him. It feels…right." She looked over at the girl. "Is that weird?"

"No." Claire shook her head. "I think you do love him, Gill. But you're afraid to face it. You don't want it to fail like it did with Alec. I think you are worried about risking it because…you love him too much."

Gil wrung her hands in her lap. "Why couldn't you have come and explained this to me earlier?"

"Because you weren't ready. The only times you have ever thought about your feelings for Cal…when were they?"

"When….when the copycat guy came after me. And then when Eric Matheson came and…and almost killed Cal. When those kids came after me and Ava. When Burns and I broke it off. When you died." Gillian stopped and looked over at Cal. "Those were the times when…"

"his true feelings came through, yeah. What did you feel during that time, Gil? When he was with you?"

"I felt loved. Protected." She repeated to herself.

"Right. I think you're starting to pick up on it on your own now."

"No don't go away Claire!" Gillian looked over at the girl desperately. "I need you."

"You don't need me, Gill." The girl reached over and hugged her.

"Cuz I've got Cal…." She whispered in the girl's ear.

Claire smiled brightly. "I always knew you were the smartest woman I know."

Gillian turned back to the ignition and started the car. She looked back over at the passenger seat again. It was empty. But Gillian didn't feel empty anymore.

***LTM***

"It's probably time that you got to bed, Em" Cal said. They were snuggling on the couch in front of the tv.

"I'm not tired" she reiterated. "It's only 11:30."

"It's a school night."

"I'm not leaving you alone, Dad." Cal had no response to that.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Cal frowned. "What the…" he got up slowly and peeked through the keyhole. Shocked, he undid the locks and opened the door. Gillian was standing on the stoop.

"Hi." She said, shyly.

"Hey."

"I was just…uhhh…taking a drive in the neighborhood. Thought I'd stop by."

"Come in." Cal opened the door and she walked in. Emily poked her head over the couch and then seeing who it was, her face brightened and she shot up and walked over.

"Hi Em" Gillian smiled an exhausted smile.

"Emily was just going to bed," Cal shot his daughter a look.

"I was just going to bed" she repeated. "Good night." She gave her Dad a hug and a kiss and then walked over to Gillian. She gave her a hug. "You were my friend in the story" she whispered in her ear.

Gillian pulled out of the hug and looked down at the girls face and then smiled. Emily, understanding, beamed in return and went up the steps to her room.

"Can I get you anything?" Cal asked.

Gillian shook her head. She walked over to the kitchen island and stood there. "I just came over to apologize for my behavior. For Wallowski, for the necklace, for walking out on you in the office like that….I'm sorry."

"You don't need to keep apologizing" Cal reiterated.

"Yeah, I do." Gillian nodded and looked up. "I…behaved badly. And I did some thinking and would like to explain why."

Cal moved closer and rested his head on his hands, with his elbows on the island, waiting.

"I need to be honest with you, Cal. I…" She stopped and started shifting her weight between her feet. "I think I've crossed the line too." She snuck a glance at him. All she could register on his face was relief. "After Alec and then Burnes…I didn't want to…I'm still afraid because I don't want any more failures." She took a deep breath. "I don't know if I could live with myself if I hurt you. You're the one person who has always been there for me. I know it's stupid but that one time when Eric Matheson had that gun to your head…I kept thinking over and over…what if I never had the chance to say I was sorry? Would you think I hated you going to your grave?"

"I've never hated you a day in my life" he said quietly, looking down.

"I know" she said gently. She walked around the island to face him. "I also realized that…I've been so emotional lately because I've been holding my real feelings inside. Claire helped me realize that."

Cal looked up. "Claire did?"

Gillian nodded. "I wasn't to blame for her death. And I can't blame myself. And I can't blame you for your feelings or I for mine. We have to accept them." She reached up and gently stroked his cheek before cupping it in her hand. He reached his hand up and put it on top of hers.

"You know what made me realize what I felt?" Cal said. "When Emily asked me. We were sitting on the couch and she asked if I loved you. Straight out. And then she asked me what I was waiting for and I had no answer. That's when I knew…."

"Well what WERE you waiting for?" Gillian asked seriously

"Confirmation." Cal whispered.

Gillian leaned forward and kissed him gently, briefly, on the lips and then put her arms around his neck. He buried his face in her shoulder and they stood there for a few minutes. They slowly broke apart and Cal rested his forehead on hers.

"You know what I think?" Gillian traced her finger along his jawline.

"What?" He whispered.

"I think that there is someone over at the police station I owe an apology to," she said.

Cal smiled. "I guess you do."

She pulled back and put her hands on her hips, playfully. "But if we are going to be an item Dr. Lightman I can't have you gallivanting off with some detective."

"Madame, I wouldn't hear of it!"

She giggled, really giggled, for the first time in two weeks and Cal grinned in return.

"I guess I better get home," she said. She walked over to the door and Cal followed her. "Hey." She stopped and turned back to him. "You're still my best friend" he affirmed.

"Best friends forever." She smiled gently, lovingly. "Goodnight Cal."

"Goodnight love."

_Well what did you all think? Please leave lots and lots of reviews!_


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